why is happy dog happy?
because he is showing his peener to the room.
and, ladies and gentlemen, that is my NORMAL dog.
also, how my morning went:
3am: Jasmine gets a case of the wiggles. this is annoying when I'm awake, but outright fucking ludicrous when I am sound asleep. took her damned near an hour to settle down, too, through out which I faked sleeping and let her tap dance all over me in a TOTALLY FAILED attempt to get me to wake up and play.
4:15: nonspecific cat barfs on dog bed. I say nonspecific because cats are like cockroaches; they scatter when the lights come on, especially when they come on while I am yelling and swearing.
5:03: not to be outdone, Finnegan barfs. ON A CAT. Ya know what? trying to keep Finny from licking the cats is tough; apparently they are snacktastic. And trying to keep Finny from eating his own vomit is also tough going - he is smart for a dog, but dog-smart does NOT involve a chapter on how JESUS GROSS YOU THINK MAYBE YOU REGURGITATED THAT FOR A REASON YOU RETARD. Trying to keep Finny from eating vomit off a cat just about took cattle prods and hand grenades. Or, you know, more yelling and swearing.
5:10: vomit cleaned up, cat rinsed, arms bleeding, I decide to take the dogs out to pee/poop/barf on the vacant lot across the street. Finnegan takes this opportunity to decide that the man standing on the neighbour's front porch was NOT, in fact, his super-bestest-snack-giving buddy, but instead a super-evil bag-toting hat-wearing man-beast. Which is to say he barked. Have I mentioned Finnegan's bark? It's like a german shepherd was taught to speak beagle, and then kicked in the sphincter with something sharp, and possibly coated with bees. It's AWFUL, and I suspect the entire neighbourhood now knows it.
and again, I must point out that bee-stung butt and all, he's the normal one. And that includes the cats: I bought them a cat tree yesterday, and so far the score goes: FatFat, tipped it over once and fallen off it twice. Emma, tipped it over 5 times in one hour, falls off it at least once an hour. Tibbie, has not tipped it over OR fallen over it, but only because he is scared of it, and thus busy howling at it.